In Ravenclaw Tower
by xForeversEndx
Summary: Albus Severus has been sorted into Ravenclaw, and has been there for six years. One day, he walks in on his dorm mate, Scorpius, during a private moment. Differences aside, the boys realize they have some things in common. Will Albus' own past get in the way of him being able to help to his friend? Trigger Warning: Self Harm, Eating Disorder. Potential Romance.
1. Chapter 1

For the third time this month, I find myself running top speed up the stairs of Ravenclaw tower, cursing the fact that our year's dormitory is at that top. I'm going to be late no matter what, but if I show up with book and have some sort of excuse, at least Flitwick won't guess that I've forgotten my book again.

I slow down as I get to the top and momentarily I brace myself against the wall, trying to catch my breath; the only further place from Ravenclaw tower than the charms corridor is the Slytherin common room. I'm about to open the door to my dormitory when I hear something that sounds suspiciously like crying coming from within.

I approach the door slowly and press my ear against the crack. The sound is unmistakable. I rack my brain for a moment, trying to figure out who it could possibly be. I suppose Hornsby was dumped by his girlfriend last week, so it could be him…

No, no. Hornsby was in Charms. Redkin, Atkins, Malfoy… _Malfoy._ Come to think of it, Scorpius left the breakfast table when I did… but I never saw him reach the classroom…

I knock on the door lightly.

"Malfoy?" I ask softly, opening the door. The sight I see before me is pitiful. Malfoy is sitting on his bed, red faced and puffy eyed. He's looking around at me in a panic as though he's trying to hide something, and although he clearly wiped his face of tears, his eyes are still watering. "Malfoy, what's wrong?" I ask, my charms book all but forgotten.

"P-potter!" He gasps at me. "What are you doing here?" His hostility would make you think all of this were somehow _my_ fault. Though, if you were to ask headmistress McGonagall, everything usually is.

"I forgot my charms book," I say gently. "I could be asking you the same question, Malfoy, what's the matter?" Malfoy runs his hand across his eyes again.

"It doesn't matter. Just go away." I frown, trying to figure out how to proceed. Scorpius and I have lived in dorm together for the last six years, but we've never really been close. My brother never really approved of him, and I've always stuck for the most part with Rose, and Lily, who were also sorted into Ravenclaw. We're a close family.

"Well, it clearly matters, Scorpius." I say awkwardly. "Is there anything I can do?" Malfoy shakes his head and avoids eye contact with me.

"Just go to class, Potter." He snaps at me. I sigh. I'm about to turn around to collect my book and go when my eye catches something shiny on the bed. My stomach flips, violently.

"I… I don't think I'll be going to class, Malfoy." The blonde looks up, alarmed, and angry.

"Why the hell not?" He barks. Before he has a chance to track my gaze, I reach out and snatch up the object in question. It's a razorblade. My insides flutter in excitement from touching it and I resist the urge to fling it away from me.

"What's this for, Scorpius?" I ask, in the most level tone that I can manage.

"N-nothing." He stammers. "Give that back!" I hold it away from him.

"No way, Malfoy. Let me see." I don't know why I'm angry, with him – I barely know him – but I am.

"See what?" He tries to play dumb and for some reason that makes it worse.

"You know what, Malfoy." I bark. "Your arm. Let me see your arm." He glares at me.

"I barely know you, Potter. Give it back!" His voice breaks and I see his eyes begin to tear again. Suddenly, the anger flies away from me leaving an overwhelming sense of sadness. _Come on now, Albus. You know yelling doesn't work._ I sigh and approach Malfoy slowly. Uninvited, I sit down on the bed, beside him. Placing the razorblade in my robe pocket, I very deliberately pull up my sleeves.

Holding my bare arms out for Scorpius to see, I avoid eye contact as his eyes flit over scar after scar on my flesh. When I get the sense that he's gotten the picture, I pull my sleeves back down and look at him, pointedly. Pursing his lips together, and sniffling slightly, Malfoy repeats my action and pulls up his robe sleeve. He holds his left arm out in front my face, and I wince with the sight.

Scorpius' arm is littered with what must be years' worth of mutilation. The 7 fresh slices on his wrist are still bleeding pretty badly. Trying to ignore the nauseous turning in my stomach I look at him with as much sympathy as I can muster.

"You've been doing this for what," I find the most faded scar that I can see. "2, 3 years?" I ask. My voice is just ever so slightly unsteady.

"Two and a half…" I hear Scorpius mutter, barely, beneath his breath. I point out a thick, jagged looking scar near his elbow.

"You did that first." I tell him, point blank. He nods and I pretend not to notice his chin quiver. "Used a quill?" He turns away from me, and I can make out a single tear as it cuts a path across his cheek. Sighing, I grab his hand. He jumps with the contact, and looks around at me. "Come on," I say, tugging on him, gently.

"W-what?" he inquires, as his eyebrows furrow together in confusion. "Where are we going?" Seeming to trust me, he allows me to guide him.

"To the loo." I say simply. I pull Scorpius into the restroom off the dorm and start running some warm water from the tap. Still not bothering to resist, he allows me to run his arm beneath the water. I wash the cuts as gently I can manage, still making a conscious effort to quell the screaming anxiety that's building up inside my own stomach.

"Why are you doing this?" I take a towel from beneath the sink and press it against his wrist. He winces, slightly, and I look at him apologetically.

"Because," I say simply. "No one ever did for me." Reaching down, I grab Malfoy's right hand and place it on the towel. He starts to apply pressure, and as I pull my hand away from his, I spot scarring above his knuckles. I frown, as I start to rummage around for a bandage.

"You been making yourself throw up?" I ask, as gently as possible. I look up and see his grey eyes staring at me, unsure.

"It's okay," I answer, pulling out a roll of gauze. He nods, looking away from me.

"Did you do that too?" Pursing my lips together, I shake my head.

"No." I say, softly. "No, I never did that." I take Malfoy's hand and move it, taking away the towel and inspecting the cuts. "I just know what to look for." I'm relieved to find that none of them will require magical healing, because that's something I was never able to do. I dab some dittany that I found in the cabinet across his wrist before I start to wrap the bandages around the cuts. When I've finished, I pull his sleeve back over his arm and let go of his hand. "Good as new," I say, forcing myself to smile.

The expression with which he stares at me makes me very uncomfortable, because I'm not able to place it. I didn't really think about what I'd do when I was finished fixing him up, and now I'm left after a moment of intimacy with no idea how to proceed.

"Thanks." Scorpius mumbles. My fingers are shaking and the anxiety hasn't yet faded from my stomach. I can feel the razorblade sitting in my pocket and the sensation of it pressing up against my let sends excitement through my skin. I reach in and pull it out. I stare at it for a second, before I turn away from Scorpius.

"I know you have more of these, somewhere." I tell him, before I drop the blade in the toilet and flush it down. The level of my desire to know where is frightening to me, and make a mental note to never go looking for them.

I walk past Scorpius and back into the dormitory. Glancing up at the clock, I determine there's no point in trying to make it into Charms. I sit down on my bed and rub my eyes with the heels of my hands. I take a deep breath, and my stomach begins to settle. When I remove my hands, I can see the blurred figure of Scorpius, sitting across the room on his own bed, looking conflicted.

"If you ever want to talk about it, I'm a good person to go to." As I say it, I feel my cheeks go red. "That is," I add, feeling stupid, "if you don't have anyone you're already talking to." Taking his eyes off the floor to look at me, he speaks.

"That must have been hard for you." He says, his voice growing less tearful. I shrug. _I_ am the last thing that I want to talk about. Feeling as though I need to be doing something, I stand up and start to rummage through my trunk for my Herbology book. Seeing as Professor Longbottom is present at almost all of our family functions, it would probably be unwise to miss his class.

"Don't worry about it, Malfoy." I say over my shoulder. I find my book at pull out. I set about collecting my things for class, even though it's a good 30 minutes before I need to head toward the greenhouses. My inner conflict at the moment is ridiculous. I want more than anything to help Malfoy. But I also feel stupid and arrogant for assuming that he knows or trusts me well enough to let me in. Its rude for me to even ask. Clearly, Scorpius has his own friends that he can go to. I need to stop butting into other people's lives because I feel like I have a personal stake in their problems.

My mental self-degradation only serves to place that nauseous longing back into my gut, and I find myself foolishly wishing that I hadn't flushed that razorblade.

"I don't." Says Malfoy, cutting into my thoughts. I look up, confused.

"What was that, Malfoy?" I ask.

"I don't have anyone. That I'm talking to, I mean." I realize what he's saying and I feel my insides flip.

"Oh. W-well why not?" He shrugs, a shadow of misery darkening his features.

"I've never been close with anyone before. Everyone avoids me. Because of who my family is." Sensing that Scorpius is probably not finished talking, I approach him. Asking for silent permission to sit down, I wait for approval. He slides over to allow me space and I take a seat beside him.

"I'm sorry to hear that," I tell him sincerely. My problem exists in the opposite extreme; no one will leave me alone because I'm the child of the Chosen One.

"The Slytherins are relentless." He says. "They always have been." Feeling sad, I place a comforting hand on Malfoy's shoulder, and he winces. My stomach flips again as I realize that his wrists are not the only victims of his blade.

"That doesn't mean that you need to hurt yourself." As soon as I've said it, I regret it. Scorpius will want nothing to do with me if I continue to spout out hypocritical clichés.

"It helps," mumbles Malfoy to his shoes.

"And the vomiting?" I press, against my own instinct. Wrapping his arms around himself, Scorpius turns away. "Sorry," I say, after a moment of silence. "I won't bother you."

"It's okay." He finally says, after what feels like an hour of beating myself up. "You're the only one who's ever cared enough to notice." Feeling myself flush, I stand. I reach out my hand.

"You should come down to Herbology with me. We can be partners." Scorpius stares at my hand for a moment, seeming to deliberate. Then, slowly, I see a slight smile come across his face.

"Alright." He tells me. "Let's go."

 **Alright guys, this is my first ever next generation story. I could leave this as a one-shot, or I could expand it. Let me know if you want some more chapters!**


	2. Chapter 2

As Scorpius and I approach the greenhouse, I notice him slowing down. A look of uneasiness crosses  
his face and he hides behind me slightly.

"It's alright," I tell him gently. "You're with me." Still looking unsure, Scorpius looks down at his feet.

"I don't know... Maybe this was a bad idea..." Before I'm able to respond, Rose catches sight of me and flags me down.

"Albus!" She reprimands, channeling aunt Hermione, "where were you during Charms?" I approach her sheepishly, Scorpius lagging along behind me, folded up as though trying to be invisible. Rose notices him and falters slightly.  
`"Malfoy," she greets, with an uneasy sort of smile. "How are you?" Scorpius shrugs.

"I-I'm alright, thank you." He stammers politely. "How are you?" Rose doesn't answer but looks questioningly at me. I give her a look that's meant to say 'leave it', and she seems to get the hint.

"I'm fine, thanks." She finally directs toward him.

"Scorpius and I are going to be partners today," I tell her plainly. "I know you've been dying to work with Hornsby now he's single." Rose flushes the color of her hair and flits her eyes in Scorpius's direction. I shrug and grin at her. Before we're able to talk much longer Professor Longbottom sets us repotting another type of plant that I will never be able to pronounce.

"You better not be up to something, Potter." Rose mumbles at me as I begin to glove up.

"I'll talk to you about it later," I mumble back. "Just look." Scorpius has his hands wrapped firmly around a stalk and behind his robe, you can just make out the slightest glimpse of the bandage wrapped around his wrist. Shock and concern register on Rose's face immediately. "I'm just getting to know him," I say gently. "I think he needs someone right now."

"Did he... Did he try to...?" I shake my head.

"Nothing that serious Rose. Go work with Maddox. I've got this covered." I leave Rose looking worried and cross the greenhouse to where Scorpius is standing.

"Thought you'd get started without me, huh?" I ask, teasing. His cheeks flush pink and he looks up at me apologetically.

"Sorry, I... I'm used to working alone." I offer him a smile.

"I'm just teasing you, Malfoy. It's alright." Scorpius looks at me, appearing troubled.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he says, staring at his feet. "It's just... I'd rather you didn't call me that. M-my name is Scorpius." I nod in understanding.

"Alright, Scorpius." I acknowledge. "Let's get to work." He nods, the smallest ghost of a smile gracing his pale lips.

"This isn't all that hard." He says after a moment of silence, wrenching the shrieking, growling, wriggling snake like root from it's nest. The plant catches his sleeve and, panicking, he drops the whole thing on the greenhouse floor. He looks at me wide-eyed, silently asking if anyone noticed his arm. I shake my head at him, feeling my stomach sink sadly.

"Mr. Malfoy!" Frets Professor Longbottom, rushing over. "Just because you're afraid of ripping your robe does not mean you can throw my plants around the room! 5 points from Slytherin... I mean Ravenclaw!" He shakes his head disapprovingly before handing Scorpius a broom and shuffling away.

Scorpius just stands with the broom, staring down at his mess. There appear to be tears forming in his eyes and I make a note to track down Uncle Neville and yell at him. Gently, I take the broom from Scorpius's hands and begin to sweep the writhing mess from off the floor. I grab the root and plop it the empty pot and sweep up the remaining soil.

"Are you okay?" I ask him quietly.

"Even the professors forget I'm not in Slytherin." He murmurs. "And the Slytherins won't let me forget that I'm in Ravenclaw." Suddenly realizing that I'm cleaning up his mess, he tries to grab the broom from me. "You don't have to do that." I ignore him and finish the job before putting the broom away. "It's like I don't belong anywhere." He says, as we return to another plant.

"Nonsense. You're in Ravenclaw because you deserve to be. There's nothing else to it."

"Why though?" He says, getting animated. "I don't feel like I deserve anything!" I frown at him, and don't respond due to struggle with a very violent plant. "Sorry." He mumbles after a moment. "You don't need to hear about this."

"I said you could talk to me," I answer simply. "But maybe this isn't the place. Just tell me about yourself." He looks at me very oddly as though no one had ever asked him that before. It sullenly occurs me that this may very well be the case.

"You first..." He says finally, looking vaguely suspicious. I try to give him an encouraging smile.

"Well..." I begin awkwardly, "My name is Albus. Harry Potter is my father and I really hate that sometimes. I love muggle music and it drives me crazy that my iPhone won't work here. I have some awesome friends but sometimes they don't get what it's like to struggle, and I have an overwhelming propensity for getting into trouble and butting in to other people's personal lives." Scorpius giggles and for some reason I blush. "I love cats," I continue. "I'm gay. I'm actually terrible at Quidditch. I really have no idea what the proper way to interact with others is, and I've always wanted to ride in an airplane." For the first time, I see Scorpius actually smile.

My stomach fluttering, violently over what I'm about to say, I speak again.

"I'll tell you something else, too." I assert, confidently. "I think you're cute." Flushing the color of a tomato, Scorpius falters.

"Are you… are you hitting on me?" He doesn't look bothered by this, just astounded, and so I continue. 

"Mhm…" I nod. Then I stare at him, appraisingly. "But you're you're too skinny for me, though. You're gonna have to start eating more." Scorpius shoots me a very un-amused look.

"Cute." He deadpans.

"No, really," I tell him. "I wouldn't fuck you right now." Looking amazed at my boldness, he answers me in a flustered tone.

"Who said anything about fucking me?!" I shrug, off-handedly.

"I'd break you in half." I say, sadly. "No can do, skinny man." Now looking self-important, Scorpius straightens up and for the first time raises his voice to a normal volume.

"And how do I know all this flattery isn't just some ploy to cure my eating disorder?" His tone sounds almost teasing, and I'm so thrilled to get him out of his shell that I press forward.

"Hey," I say simply. "I'm hitting on you because I think you're cute. If I can get you to stop shoving your finger down your throat, that's just a bonus for me." He seems to deliberate very carefully over what to say next.

"You don't even know if I'm gay." He finally says slowly, smiling slightly. I smile back.

"You're right," I say. "So it's your turn. Tell me about _you,_ Scorpius." He seems to grow quiet again.

"Okay..." He starts, shyly, after a long silence, copying my spiel from before. "I'm Scorpius. Draco Malfoy is my father and I really hate that ALL the time. I've never been raised to hate muggles but I don't know anything about them, so I really have no idea what an iPhone is. Nor do I know anything about airplanes. I can't play Quidditch because I can't get changed in locker rooms, I've never been allowed to have pets so I don't know how I feel about them, and I've always wanted to go somewhere, anywhere, where no one knew who I was." I notice he says nothing about whether or not he's into blokes and I don't press the subject.

"You know Scorpius?" I say instead. "I'm going to take you to hang around muggle London sometime. The muggles won't give a flying fuck who we are." Scorpius giggles again, and once more, I find my cheeks growing hot.

"You'll have to show me some of that muggle music, too." He tells me, smiling.

"I don't know..." I say, nudging him on the shoulder. "Even most muggles don't like the music that I do..." Scorpius shrugs.

"I'm not like most people," He tells me, looking me over with an expression I can't read. Before I'm able to gauge whether he's flirting with me, the bell rings, signaling the end of class. Rose is still chatting it up with Maddox Hornsby and so Scorpius and I trudge back up toward the castle alone.

"You know," says Scorpius after awhile. "We've lived together 6 years. Why did I never know that you're gay?" I shrug.

"I keep it to myself, really. I don't have any close friends in our dorm. Why? Does it bother you?" Scorpius shakes his head like a dog shaking off a fly.

"N-no! Not at all!" He seems comically adamant about that and I smile. "I'm just surprised. You don't…" He trails off, blushing.

"Seem the type?" I finish for him, amused. He nods, looking worried that he's offended me. "And what _is_ the type, exactly?" Scorpius blushes even deeper now.

"Sorry." He mumbles, staring at his feet. He looks like he's wishing he were anywhere else.

"It's okay, Scorpius. I'm not upset." He looks up at me, shyly. "I'm not embarrassed, either," I say, more for his sake, than mine. "Gay people have been able to marry in even the _muggle_ world for years now. Even in the States!" Scorpius shifts, seeming to think hard about something. "I've just never really broadcasted my own gayness because it didn't seem important. It's just a part of who I am."

"Oh." He says quietly. "O-okay." He's quiet for awhile as we enter the castle. I get the distinct impression that there's something he's refraining from saying out loud.

"Are you hungry," I ask gently as we cross the threshold of the Great Hall. It's lunchtime. He shakes his head and wraps his arms around himself, tightly. I frown. "You should eat something, Scorpius…"

"I just throw it up later." He mumbles, looking uncomfortable. Feeling like its too early in our relationship to nag him about his eating disorder, I say,

"It's better than having nothing in your system at all. Come on." From a medical standpoint, I have no idea if this is true, but I want him to stay with me as much as possible today. Somehow, helping and protecting Scorpius makes me feel a little better about myself, and if I play my cards right, I don't plan on giving him _time_ to go throw up, so it's a moot point.

Scorpius appears very ill at ease with the idea of me making him eat, but he follows me into the Great Hall anyway. I sit down with Rose and Lily and Scorpius sits besides me, rather closer than is generally acceptable. He smells good, though. So I don't mind.

"So," I say as I sit down, by way of a conversation starter. "Scorpius here doesn't think I'm the 'gay type.'" I regret this decision immediately as Scorpius turns bright red and starts trying to apologize.

"Hey!" Pipes Ryan Finnegan in our direction. "You got a problem with gay people?" Ryan has two dads, and from what my father tells me, he inherited his temper from one of them, Seamus. Before Scorpius – who looks like he might cry – can try to respond, I jump in to defend him.

"No, Ryan. No, he doesn't." I say, smiling in a defusing sort of way. "He was just surprised to find out that I am." Lily snorts into her food and everyone turns to look at her. She chokes down her mouthful of chicken and gasping, tells Scorpius through chuckles:

"We've known Albus was gay _forever_! Mum and Dad used to make bets about when he'd finally say so!" I feel my cheeks grow hot. "When he finally came out Uncle George made him a rainbow cake that exploded glitter all over our kitchen!"

Still flushed, I tell Scorpius, "Dad still finds glitter in the carpet sometimes."

Rose, who's been listening silently to most of the exchange, pipes in saying; "My dad says that if Hugo turns out gay, he'll kill George before he lets him bring a glitter cake in the house." We all glance over to the Gryffindor table, where Hugo is busy chatting up Alyssa Wood. Everyone laughs at the absurdity of Hugo ever being gay. As my dad would say, Hugo and my brother James both have the flirtatious, playboy attitude of Sirius Black, who was a good friend of my grandfather's.

"I never knew." Says Scorpius in his usual soft-spoken, shy sort of way. Every time that someone addresses him directly, his cheeks grow the slightest tinge of pink in the most adorable sort of way. His plate is still empty and I take the liberty of putting some chicken on it for him.

"Come on, Scorpius," I say with a slightly exaggerated enthusiasm. "You've got to try this chicken. It's so good." As I chat with a few others at the table, I watch him out of the corner of my eye. He begins to cut the food into tiny knut sized pieces, but doesn't eat a bite. I stare at him pointedly until he reluctantly starts to spear the smallest pieces he can find and put them in his mouth. I continue to watch him throughout lunch until he's eaten at least enough substance to keep him functioning.

I feel overwhelmingly grateful to Rose and Lily, who never say a word about Scorpius – who usually sits by himself at the end of the table (if he shows up for meals at all) – sitting with us for a change. I assume that Rose must have filled Lily in on what little she does know, because both of them have made a point of being extra nice to him. After lunch we have a free period and so Scorpius and I start walking back toward Ravenclaw tower.

"I'm just going to stop off and use the bathroom," he tells me suspiciously as we pass a restroom in an empty corridor. I nod.

"I kinda have to go, too," I tell him with a pointed gaze. Under normal circumstances, accompanying another guy to the loo would be the weirdest thing I'd ever done. Today, I don't think twice about it as I follow a somewhat sulky looking Scorpius into the restroom. I take a piss and wash my hands while Scorpius glares into the tile like a pouting child.

"You don't have to babysit me, you know." He says as we continue our walk toward Ravenclaw tower. "We barely even know each other, and I'll always find away to get away from you." His tone barely rises above a whisper, and yet, I sense a threat in his tone.

"I know I don't have to babysit you," I say, channeling some of my older brother's antagonistic nature. "But I choose to." Scorpius opens his mouth to protest, but I continue speaking before he has the chance. "Because I like you, Scorpius." I tell him. "And I think you're pretty cool." He stares at me, mouth half open, like he's never heard anyone say something like that to him. "But," I say, putting on my serious face. "I'd like to see you graduate. And if you keep starving yourself I'm afraid a passing owl is going to pick you up and carry you away." I take a deep breath, not wanting to say the next sentence. "Or," I continue slowly, "More likely, that you'll wind up seriously sick, hurt, or even dead." Scorpius closes his mouth and stares into my eyes as if trying to gauge whether I'm serious. When I don't falter, he backs off, slightly, looking sad.

"What if all this never makes a difference?" He asks me, softly, headed out in to the hallway. "What if I just keep sneaking off to throw up during classes and continue to cut myself when you aren't around?" Sensing he isn't finished, I stay quiet. "What will you do then?" I smile in a crooked sort of way.

"Well…" I start slowly. "Aside from not fucking you," I start, nudging him. "I would do exactly what I'm doing now." He looks up into my eyes with his silver ones and my heart skips a beat. "I would stay right by your side and do whatever I could to make your life less miserable." Scorpius blushes deeply.

"I wish I could believe you weren't only doing this because you caught me crying today… We've never even spoken before." I shrug.

"Well, I'll tell you something about myself, Scorpius. I'm kind of an idiot. And sometimes it takes something crazy to make me realize what's in front of me." Scorpius stares at me some more as we approach Ravenclaw tower and clips the side of a coat of armor as he passes it. Flushing even deeper in embarrassment, he breaks eye contact and appears to go into some kind of internal diatribe against himself. It takes another few moments of silence for me to muster up the courage for what I say next. "You know I'm not only doing this for you?" I say softly.

We enter the Ravenclaw common room and Scorpius heads up the stairs toward the dormitory. I follow him. He doesn't respond right away to my comment and as we ascend the stairs silently, I start to feel anxiety ride up inside of me. Maybe he didn't hear me… or… maybe I've taken this too far and he's finally freaked out. Why the hell did I hit on him, anyway? What's wrong with me? How could I possibly think that was appropriate…?

I follow Scorpius into the empty dormitory and he sits down on his bed as I stand awkwardly in the doorway. He looks at me expectantly.

"What?" I ask, stupidly, and he raises his eyebrows at me.

"Are you going to elaborate?" He asks slowly, beginning to appear unsure himself. "About… about what you said?" Suddenly shy, I approach his bed and sit down on the edge.

"Oh, so you did hear me." I say. I'm putting off the conversation we're about to have. More than anything in the entire world, I hate talking about my problems. For some reason, it's totally fine to me for anyone else to have an issue. But… the moment it's me, it's a sign of weakness. It's shameful. It's impossible to even admit…

"Yeah…" Scorpius is saying, and I nearly miss it due to my own internal monologue. "And you seemed pretty uncomfortable with it, so I thought we'd talk up here where it's private…" It hits me that Scorpius was only trying to be considerate and I'm hit simultaneously with a sense of gratitude and also a sense of defensiveness.

"Oh… Thanks…" I say awkwardly.

"Yeah." He says again, still looking at me with an anticipatory expression. "So…" I sigh. I can't get myself out of this anymore.

"Fine." I say. "Look. I know we've only been talking a few hours, but I can already tell that you and I have more in common than I do with Lily or Rose or Hugo." As I say this, I focus my eyes anywhere but on Scorpius. "I love my friends and my family. I really do. But…" I take another breath. "But they've never had the same… problems… that I've had. I never felt comfortable telling them about any of it because Rose would always look at me with this… disgusting _pity_ and Lily and even James would just get so impatient with me if their suggestions didn't work… I got _so_ defensive about my cutting and depression that I just started shutting all of them out and…" To my horror, I feel a lump begin to form in my throat. "and instead of getting closer, they just got angry and went away…" Scorpius appears blurry in front of me when I look up and I make a quick swipe across my eyes. "They never understood." I finally say. Scorpius is staring at me with such intensity that I look away again, turning red.

"Anyway," I continue, steadying myself. "I don't cut myself anymore… often, anyway… and I'm doing a lot better. My friends think that means I actually _am_ better, completely, but it doesn't work that way and I think having a friend that actually _gets_ it would be so good for me…" I take one final, steadying breath before finishing with my usual confident bravado. "And, clearly, its something you really need too, and I actually think that I can help you because I _do_ get it." Scorpius smiles sadly and I notice, with a slight shock, that there are tears in his eyes.

"But what if I can't get better? Won't I only drag you down? I saw how shook up you were looking at my cuts…" I shake my head and try to swallow past the intrusion in my throat.

"That's not what it's about, Scorpius," I say slowly. "It's about two friends being there for one another. You'll give me a reason to stay strong, and I'll give you a reason to keep on fighting." In the back of my mind, I acknowledge how stupid we both must look: two 16-year-old guys sitting on a bed together, crying. But at this exact moment, I don't really care. Scorpius seems to think deeply for a moment.

"Okay." He says slowly, with an air of confidence. "I – I trust you." I sniff, and – not really thinking about what I'm doing – reach forward and embrace Scorpius in a hug." He hugs me back and for awkward moment, we share a shaky, watery laugh.

We let go as Horsby enters the dormitory and as he rummages through his trunk for a quill, we share a knowing look. Together, we've just leapt into an unknown, mysterious chapter of our lives.

 **Hello, all. I know I haven't written much. I am a teacher; I do not have much free time. However, writing is still very important to me. I've poured more of myself into this chapter than I really have in the past, and its dear to my heart. I will continue leaving off chapters for this story so they may also "end" the story, just in case I don't get to continue, but given requests and the time necessary, I may continue this. Let me know what you think!**

 **xForeversEndx**


	3. Chapter 3

I can hear the sounds of Scorpius vomiting as I approach the dormitory. Frowning, I slowly and silently open the door to the dormitory and creep across the room to my trunk and dig out a flask of water. Feeling a sense of dreadful sadness and not an insignificant amount of concern, I gently open the bathroom door.

"Scorpius," I call in to him. I wince as he retches again. "Scorpius, please… You haven't kept anything down in three days…" Pretending not to hear me, Scorpius spits into the bowl, and as he lifts his hand to shove his finger down his throat again, I lunge forward and grab his wrist. "I don't think so." I tell him firmly, trying to avoid our reflection in the mirror. "You're done." Scorpius fights with me for a moment and when he can't break free, he begins to cry. A lump grows in my own throat as my heart breaks, and a vague, overwhelming sense of panic begins to flood my insides. I take a deep breath, trying to steady myself, and pull Scorpius to his feet. I flush the toilet without looking at it, and begin to towel vomit from his hand. Scorpius wipes his mouth on his sleeve while I remind myself, inwardly, that I can handle this. I'm fine. Really, I am. I guide Scorpius back into the dormitory and he sips gingerly on the flask of water. At the base of his four-poster, he sinks into a sitting position.

Positioning myself beside him, I watch him worriedly. Over the past few weeks, we have become inseparable. We know each other so well that it's virtually impossible to imagine that it's hardly been more than a fortnight since we actually met. He knows my actions and my thoughts better than anyone. In turn, I know that his going quiet is very strong cause for concern. I rub his back gently as he weeps, still only barely acknowledging my presence. The last few days have been very rough on him, and twice now his cuts have been so deep I've been worried he'd been trying to kill himself. He says he hasn't, but still…

"You've gotta snap out of this, mate…" I say, softly. "I need you to snap out of this…" His usually pale complexion has deteriorated to the point where you can nearly see straight through him. Though usually shy, he seems to have such a fear of anyone around him that it takes a substantial amount of convincing to even drag him in to class. He's thrown up every single thing he's eaten for half a week, and as a result, the simple act of climbing stairs is leaving him winded, breathless. To put things simply, I'm scared shitless for his health.

Suddenly breaking in to full sobs, Scorpius collapses against my shoulder, the whole of his (very little) weight leaning against me. Again fighting tears myself, I begin to caress the soft silver-blonde of his hair.

"Shh..," I murmur into the top of his head, resisting a slight urge to kiss it, "it's alright…"

"I don't wanna go back." He cries against my robe. They're the first words he's said to me since we left for breakfast, more than 4 hours ago. Thrilled that he's speaking, I try to keep him talking.

"Go back where?" I inquire softly.

"H-home." He quavers in response. It suddenly occurs to me that we're fast approaching Christmas break. While never actually abusive, Scorpius has a painfully lonely home life. Having grown up in a family with little emotional connectivity and where family traditions are kept as formality instead of bonding, he spends his summers and holidays alone, or forcing his way through awkward, formal dinners or surface level conversation. His depression is never worse than when he is at home. Knowing this now, I can think back to the weeks before breaks all the years in the past and wonder how on earth I had never seen that he was breaking on the inside.

"Scorpius!" I exclaim, and he sits up to look at me, tears streaming down his pale face. "Is that what this is about?" He wipes his cheeks and nods mournfully. "Why didn't you say so?" Some of my irritation begins to seep into my voice.

"I don't know," says Scorpius shakily. "I didn't think it mattered." I rub the back of my head in frustration and swallow back the urge to scream.

"Everything matters, Scoprius. I'll write to my parents tonight. You can come and spend Christmas with me." He looks unsure over this.

"I-I don't know…" He answers, sniffling. "Are you sure your parents will be okay with that?" I smile at him. Something in the back of my mind compels me to reach forward and brush a stray tear from his cheek. I ignore it.

"We spend Christmas with the Weasleys," I tell him. "Their motto is an always has been 'the more the better.' I'm sure they'd be happy to have you." Wrapping his arms around himself, he still looks unsure.

"B-but… I'm a Malfoy… And your dad… My parents will probably just say no." Unable to help it, I chortle.

"What?" Asks Scorpius, looking tearfully confused.

"Well…" I answer with slight amusement. "If my father's stories are correct, your dad – and you – wouldn't even exist if it weren't for my dad saving his ass at the Battle of Hogwarts so… I'm pretty sure he's not in the place to deny him." Scorpius smiles a little at this, beginning to calm down.

"O-okay…" He agrees hesitantly. "I suppose we could try that."

"Good," I tell him, trying to keep my voice as positive as I can manage. "And next time something is upsetting you, please just tell me what's going on before sinking into a pit… We may have been able to avoid some of this…"

"Maybe…" He answers distantly, and I get the feeling he doesn't believe I would have made a difference. I watch him quietly as he wipes at his cheeks again and I catch a glimpse of red beneath his sleeve. I frown.

"How bad is it this time?" Scorpius shrugs and avoids my gaze.

"Scorpius." I repeat, firmly. Avoiding eye contact, he pulls back his robe. His entire sleeve is soaked in mostly wet blood, and I'm immediately alarmed. "Scorpius!" I nearly shout, moving nearer to him, taking his hand. "Are you feeling light-headed at all?" I ask.

"A little, I guess…" He mumbles, shying away from me. Panicking slightly, I roll up the sleeve. 5 very long, very deep gashes line his arm, still heavily oozing scarlet blood onto his shirt, very clearly much too deep to leave alone. My stomach plummets sharply. I stand and try to pull him to his feet.

"We're going to madam Pomfrey. Now." This time Scorpius is the one to panic, eyes widening.

"No!" He yells, "We can't! She'll tell!" Angry, I round on him.

"Scorpius, you're losing way too much blood! These will not heal on their own and I do not want you to get sick do you understand me? You don't even have any food in you! At the very least, leaving those untreated is pretty much begging for an infection!" His eyes flit across my face, and he seems to understand that I won't let this go.

"W-what about Rose?" He asks quickly trying to scramble away from me, yanking at his arm. I'm much stronger than he is and he isn't able to free himself. "She's studying to be a healer isn't she?" I stop trying to pull on him.

"Y-you're okay with her knowing that you cut yourself?" I ask him, shocked that he'd even suggest it. Scorpius shoots me an irritated look.

"Don't act like you haven't told her, Albus, and Lily too. They're way too nice to me." I back away and wring my hands guiltily. _Damn it Albus, why'd you have to open your mouth? Now he won't even trust you…_

"I'm sorry…" I start to apologize, but he cuts me off.

"Don't." He says shortly. "It is what it is. They were gonna find out eventually, and even if she didn't know, I'd rather Rose than Madame Pomfrey." I contemplate this for a moment.

"A-alright." I say finally. "But promise me that you won't use the fact that she can heal them as an excuse to start cutting deeper… if this happens again, I'm getting professional help…" It's a threat I hate making, but I feel like right now, it's necessary. Scorpius nods solemnly.

"I promise." I watch him for a moment and decide that I believe him.

"I'll go get her. You stay here. Don't move."

I give Scorpius one last calculating look before I bound down the spiral staircase, taking them two at a time. I can't be angry with him for trying to avoid the Hospital Wing. When it had been me, the idea of a stranger (or any adult figure of any kind) knowing anything about or having anything to do with my personal issues had been the most horrible thing I could image.

I find Rose in an armchair by the fire, reading a book that appears to be hundreds of years old. She looks up as I approach her.

"Rose…" I start, and I'm surprised to find that my voice is quavering. "I need your help with something… R-really, Scorpius does." She puts her book down as concern crosses her face.

"Is he alright?" I shake my head, suddenly fighting off tears.

"No, not really. Look can you just come upstairs with me?"

"Of course." She sets down the book and follows me quickly up to the dormitory. Scorpius is sitting on his bed now, looking mournful. As she walks in, he folds into himself, appearing nervous. Rose, seeming to see that he's upset, approaches him slowly. "Hey, Scorpius, how are doing?" He shrugs. "Albus said you needed me for something?" Scorpius nods and avoids eye-contact.

"I… well, I…" Appearing troubled, he glances up at me, as though asking for my help. I stare down at the floor.

"He cut himself too deeply and he's afraid to go to the Hospital Wing." I say shortly. When I look up, Rose doesn't look surprised, and I'm unsure whether I'm upset or relieved by this fact.

"Well," answers Rose, gently. "I'm not a healer yet, but I'll see what I can do. Can you roll up your sleeve for me, Scorpius?" She asks. He does as she requests, and as he reveals the lacerations to her Rose's eyes widen in alarm. She takes his hand and examines them closely. "Scorpius!" She breathes. "Tell me this wasn't a suicide attempt!" Scorpius shakes his head, and I see tears beginning to well in his eyes.

"N-no." He insists, shakily. "I would've cut long ways…" I close my eyes against my growing headache and try to push away the nagging, unsettling sensation in my stomach. I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. I'm fine. Really, I'm fine. From a little ways away, I hear Rose sigh.

"Alright, well you've lost quite a bit of blood," and I recognize that the calming tone in her voice is intended for his benefit. "I'll need to grab my medical kit and some blood replenisher. Albus," My eyes snap open at the sound of my name. "I need you to grab a towel and apply pressure to these cuts. D-don't let him out of your sight…" I can tell she's much more shaken by this event than she's letting on. "I'll be right back." As she leaves I approach Scorpius with a towel.

Sitting beside him, without thinking, I intertwine my fingers with his before using my other hand to press down on his cuts. I suddenly realize what I've just done and move to release my grasp, but to my surprise, Scorpius tightens his grip on my hand and doesn't let me go. We sit like that in silence as I try to calm my nerves.

"I'm sorry." Says Scorpius after a while. I just shake my head.

"Don't." I tell him gently. "Please just don't lock me out again." He watches me for a moment with an expression that I can't place. Before I'm able to ask him about it, Rose returns with a box of medical supplies. I release Scorpius's hand and move away so that she can begin to doctor his arm. I watch her silently as she works. After what feels like an hour, she backs away.

"Alright." She tells him, with a reassuring smile. "Good as new. Well, sort of." Scorpius pulls his sleeve down over the newly healed cuts and stares down at his feet.

"Thank you," he mumbles. "Sorry about the trouble." Rose smiles sadly at him.

"It's alright, love," and she kneels down to make eye contact with him. "Just try not to scare us like that again, okay?" Scoprius nods at her in apparent agreement. She stands up. "Alright, well I'm going to let you two chat. I'll see you at dinner." She shoots Scorpius as significant look and he shies away from her. "Bye now."

It's a long while before either of us says a thing.

"A-are you okay?" It's Scorpius who breaks through the tension and its with great surprise that I answer him.

"Am _I_ okay?" I ask incredulously. "What about _you_ Scorpius? Can I even be sure you won't kill yourself if I leave you alone tonight?" He recoils slightly and I instantly regret the harsh tone to my words. "I-I'm sorry…" I stammer. "It's just… no. No, I'm not okay. You're scaring the shit out of me, Scorpius. And…" I don't want to say that since he's been like this I've slept with a razorblade beneath my mattress. Just in case… "And I'm worried." I say lamely instead. Scorpius's eyebrows furrow guiltily.

"I'm sorry… Look, Albus. I'm… I'm not okay, either. But you're right, I shouldn't have left you out… I'm just… I'm not used to having anyone to talk to about any of this. It's only been a few weeks and…" He breaks off and for a moment I'm worried that he's about to cry. "My automatic instinct is to hide myself away when I get like this. I'm sorry." I sigh, and grip one of his hands with mine.

"It's alright." I say, softly. "We'll get through this."


End file.
